


Co-dependency is Underrated

by MoozallaFirefocc80



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Depression, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Human AU, Lack of self care, Poor Peri. Literally Peridot has no money., Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Esteem Issues, Tall Peridot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-16 23:59:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14176164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoozallaFirefocc80/pseuds/MoozallaFirefocc80
Summary: Peridot and Lapis at the barn, but its human AU.





	1. We Meet Again

Peridot stood outside along the driveway of her small home in the country. She had been pacing a large divot in the wet grass beside it and occasionally would stand below the large tree that nearly blocked off the driveway by itself, and she’d stare at the shed across from it. 

 

Between all of it was a large van with many designs that was put there to block the way of any other car making it impossible for anyone to get in: mainly Jasper.  
Peridot needed to get out of her stress-filled house; the battered appearance of the woman was quite unsettling and the idea of her bulky, muscular, ex-girlfriend coming to do more damage was even more so. She sighed and ran a hand through her short choppy blonde hair which looked like she had hacked it off with a knife, because she couldn’t afford a traditional haircut, and having long hair annoyed her anyway, and shoved her hands back into her jean pockets. She was not much of a look-out since she weighed about 111 pounds and was only about 5’7 in height, but she had supposed someone needed to watch. Since the rain storm from a couple of nights ago the yard to her small home had been flooded. Which was disappointing for her because she wanted was to start decorating it soon; with the little amount of money she had.

 

 

Lapis Lazuli was never one to stand out to Peridot. Just a pretty girl with low self-esteem who thought maybe she’d feel better in a relationship, but ended up being a punching bag for her girlfriend with even lower self esteem. Lapis had never been anyone to Peridot, not even really and acquaintance. But when she saw the bruises and blood on her body she had to sympathize. So she agreed to let her stay at her house. There was no way Jasper would know where this place was, nor would she expect Lapis to be at Peridot’s house.  
When they were in High School the three of them were inseparable. Often they would go down to the beach, where Lapis would swim with Jasper and she could do what she wanted on her laptop: games, movies, and trolling people on social media. She hung around mainly because there was no one else who would call her ‘friend’ but also leave her alone. She was lucky to meet Steven honestly, even though his guardians threatened her at first. She used to cyber bully him a lot, but in her defense she didn’t know it would do that much damage to his self esteem.

 

Jasper had nearly killed Lapis. She beat her so bad. It was a mess, and people on the street had stared at the scene in disbelief. But to Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl it made sense. When Steven invited her to parties, and small get-togethers she would bring Jasper along with her. They were inseparable, but the hatred they held for each other made anyone close flinch with every exchanged word. It was hard explaining to Steven the rare relationship that Lapis and Jasper had. Hard to convince him that they were in love. Or at least that they were supposed to be.

 

Peridot knew her choice to distance herself from them was a good one. The time she usually spent with Lapis and Jasper was soon changed to time with Steven and his guardians. She knew she had made a good choice and her bloodied sheets was just a confirmation of that.

 

His family had spent time caring for her, and helping her when she needed it. Steven’s dad, Greg, was even nice enough to give her a house, it needed remodeling and a call for pest control, but the idea was undoubtedly kind. Steven and Greg had said that it was previously owned by some relatives that were long gone.

 

It was a two bedroom house. Sitting at an awkward angle alone in the middle if no where. The bedrooms were side by side, with enough room to fit a small tv stabd between the two doors. Which worked out perfectly as a living room. The squeaky floors, stained carpet, chipped paint and strange smell, made it all the more homey. The living room was painted a dark maroon color and a few shelves were stacked with books and books that Greg couldn’t fit in his van anymore. Beside them was a two seater couch that Amethyst had picked up from someone’s yard, it was a dark brown color and surprisingly matched the overall color of the room. 

 

Across from the couch a box tv sat on a small table that only streamed three channels, but Steven had given her many dvds to entertain herself. Diagonal from the couch there was her bedroom, which she had decorated with a few posters and dirty laundry on the floor, which she definitely needed to clean soon. She was lucky enough to have a king sized bed, that Amethyst got somehow.

 

The living room connected to the kitchen which had a huge rectangular metal sink sitting awkwardly on its own and a few cabinets and a cupboard, but nothing was in them except one of each type of silverware there was. There was also an old fashioned gas oven that she only really used when the others came over: craving tea. Across from that was a bedroom that Peridot never used, but wish she had had chosen it because it had a great view of the sunset at night, and a walk-in closet. 

 

All it had in it was a sleeping bag for Steven, and a bunch of used trash bags. And that was the only room in the house that connected to the bathroom so if you had to go you had to walk through that smelly room. The only brand new thing she had was a clothes washer and dryer that sat in the back porch that was always extremely warm no matter what type of weather outside; it hung limply off the side of the kitchen. Besides the washer and dryer there was a large fridge that kids were warned not to hide in because they would suffocate.

 

Then the time she spent with them at their small beach house turned to time spent at her house working on fixing up a busted up car that a wealthy man in Empire city had wanted to buy from them for a great sum of money. The only reasons they were really able to fix it up so nicely was because Peridot’s father had taught her many things about repairing things. Her other brothers weren’t fans of it, and her mom was strict when it came to money so her father had to learn how to fix things himself. When the boys didn’t help: she would. They even let her keep all the money they got when they finally sold it. Which she mainly used for meals for one, shampoo and conditioner, toiletry, and a brand new pair of white converse.

 

 

“Peridot,” said a low, cool, British voice. She turned quickly seeing a tall, curvaceous dark woman walking towards her. The muddy ground was sloshing below her feet, and stuck along her boots.

 

“Yes?” she asked quickly trying to seem calmer than she was. Something about Garnet made Peridot act cooler and more experienced than she actually was. Either it was the fact that Garnet was the coolest person Peridot had ever met or that Garnet offered to teach her the intimacies of loving a woman: Which she declined. Garnet seemed to see passed the façade as usual and approached her with an arm raised, “I can see you’re troubled.”

 

 

Peridot shrugged and looked down at her white, muddy shoes, “Just scared, Mainly. How’s she doing?” Garnet shrugged, “she’ll be fine.” 

 

 

Peridot glanced up to meet the tall dark woman’s eyes, “And you?” Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl were the three that fought off Jasper, and a delusional Lapis. Steven was there too, trying to be a voice of reason, but ultimately it failed. The older woman seemed unfazed by the question and merely shrugged again, but by the way Steven and Amethyst had described it, it was quite a traumatic experience for everyone. The only reason Amethyst, Pearl, and Garnet were not arrested too was because Connie’s father, the sheriff owed them a favor.  
“We’re leaving to go get her belongings from Jasper’s house before she’s released from the sheriffs office.”

 

Peridot was shocked by this, “Garnet. How long is she?-“ Garnet shushed her with a finger to her lips, “She’ll be out before you know it.”

 

Suddenly she turned to back to the screen door, “Amethyst! Pearl! Let’s go you two!”

 

“Yo. P-dot, you’re out of macaroni cheese,” a short Hispanic woman with lavender hair said emerging from the house. “I told her not to, but she never listens,” says a taller woman with short pink hair and a long beak-like nose. Peridot grinned but internally was a bit disappointed that now she just had noodles with no flavor.

 

“It’s fine,” Peridot said faking calm, “I can get some more.”

 

“We better hurry before it gets dark,” Garnet said from the yard. Peridot was actually quite nervous for them to leave. The large van was a barrier and they were too, but now if anything happened all there was, was her to try to protect Steven and an unconscious Lapis, buy in all honesty Steven would be braver than her in that situation. She waved them off, and decided maybe she should head back inside.

 

Her house was empty again, and it was probably due to Steven watching over Lapis’ form in her bedroom. Her last experience with Lapis was not a good one: she had watched Jasper smack her around while she got shit faced at a party. But honestly Lapis shouldn’t hold a grudge against her because Jasper allowed Peridot to drink herself numb, and her parents were pretty upset to find she had alcohol poisoning. But she couldn’t quite remember everything from that night; only the things that Jasper had told her a few days after.

 

She thought maybe she should start some kind of dinner for Steven and see if they could get Lapis to eat something, but all she had was canned food, and macaroni noodles. She huffed and slouched on the couch, and ran her hand through her hair again. A small creak sounded from across the room, and a curly haired boy with chubby cheeks, and big brown eyes emerged from behind her bedroom door.

 

“You okay?” he squeaked uneasily.

 

“Yeah. Are you?”

 

Steven had a pained look on his face and his shoulders slouched a bit, “Last time I saw her they were fighting so much. I just wish I could’ve done something sooner.”  
Peridot nodded unsure as to what to say to comfort him, “She’ll be okay though…right?”

 

Steven had trouble looking at her, but nodded, “Thanks for letting her stay here Peridot.” She shrugged and grinned cheekily, “It gets lonely here. Maybe she’ll change that.”

 

He seemed excited by that, “You mean you wouldn’t mind if she moved in?” Peridot was unsure how to answer; on one hand she had someone... on the other hand she would probably be the most difficult human being on Earth to live with.

 

She tried avoiding his puppy dog eyes and answered, “I suppose it would be nice to have someone else here.”  
He seemed extremely grateful and rushed to give her a hug. She didn’t return it simply because she never has nor will she ever. If Lapis did stay here they ‘d have to split the food portions; which would be hard since Peridot was extremely low on money. Well... she had about 22,000 dollars, but she wanted to get several permits, and fix up the old house. And Lapis better have some clothes because there was no way Peridot was sharing the hand-me-downs she got from the suitcases on the back porch. Which contained mainly overalls and pilot coveralls but they worked well especially when it came to the cold weather. And many plain white and green long sleeve shirts, and one pair of jeans that she only wore on special occasions. She even found several different pairs of boxers that, to her liking, had designs of little green men on them. She grinned to herself thinking of the way the people on the boardwalk stared when she wore a dark green jumpsuit.

 

 

Steven pulled away which made her jump from her thoughts, “Garnet says she’ll be awake soon,” he said excitedly, “Maybe I can convince her to stay!”

 

 

Peridot didn’t necessarily want it to seem as though she was dying for Lapis to move in just yet; if Lapis decided on her own she’d like to stay that was fine with her. But Steven wanted her to pretend so she would.  
...  
The others were back much sooner then she thought they’d be; carrying baskets of clothes and boxes of junk. There was actually less than Peridot expected there to be. Pearl sat a box down, and arched her back to stretch, “Well that was a nightmare.”

 

Peridot looked up at her from her spot on the couch, but said nothing. Of course it was a nightmare they had to carry everything from that cigarette stained house, and try and determine what belonged to who. Steven walked over to a box of Knick knacks that looked like someone had thrown everything in there unceremoniously, probably Amethyst’s handiwork. He started rummaging through it, and Pearl seemed alarmed, “Steven! Don’t!” but as his usual he ignored her warnings and searched the box.

 

Peridot sat on the couch and watched as he pulled out a swimming trophy, lots of swimming trophies, a couple of sketchbooks, magazines, and what looked like a jewelry box. He tilted it around and bit and found a few buttons, pins, and a letter.

 

“Maybe we should unload it all,” Amethyst said grabbing onto another box that Garnet would not let her see inside.

 

“No,” Garnet said, “It’s bad enough as it is that Steven went through this one. We should keep it in the spare bedroom and wait for her to wake.”

 

“Peridot already said it was okay for her to stay here,” Steven said piling everything back into the box. The others seemed repulsed by this and gave Peridot looks of confusion. She flushed with color like she had been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to.  
Garnet waved her hand, “It doesn’t matter. Its her things. And she wouldn’t us to go through it.”

 

Pearl agreed whilst Amethyst huffed and Steven whined, “Peridot. Help me with these boxes.” The others looked go her with satisfied faces except for Steven because he truly thought she was in trouble.

 

Peridot obeyed, of course, bent down to grab a box of whatever it was and walked towards the empty bedroom. Right on cue Garnet appeared carrying an even bigger box with only one arm, and used the other to shut the door behind her.

 

“Lapis is staying: I’m guessing,” she said dropping the box with a thud.

 

“I thought maybe she’d need to,” Peridot said fidgeting a bit.

 

“Of course she’ll need to-“ Peridot sighed and looked out the window knowing full and well where this was going, “You want her to.” Garnet said with a tinge of sympathy in her voice.

 

Although the others allowed Steven to spend time with her they had a rather strong distaste for Lapis, and they never explained why. But Peridot was sure the idea of her living with Lapis drove them crazy. Now they’d be forced to see her. That is if Lapis decided to stay.

 

“Look, Lapis isn’t really fond of me either,” Peridot said which made Garnet relax, “But if I show her I’ve changed, and she wants to stay here I wouldn’t stop her. Besides we all know she shouldn’t be around Jasper. So why not?”

 

Garnet opened her mouth, but for once couldn’t respond. Which Peridot was internally celebrating. She made her way back to the door so she could finish bringing in Lapis’ stuff.

 

“I’ll talk to Steven about trying to find her another place,” Peridot nodded and opened the bedroom door.  
More boxes and clothes and Peridot found out more about Lapis than she knew when they were kids. Judging by the electric toothbrush and full sized bottles of bubble bath; Jasper was making some serious cash doing whatever it is she does. Garnet spoke to Steven quietly in the kitchen before she, Amethyst, and Pearl decided it would be best if they went back home, in case she woke up anytime soon. Steven slept in his sleeping bag on the floor by Peridot’s bed so he could check on Lapis frequently, and Peridot slept, well tried to sleep, on her tiny couch in the living room.

 

She heard racket in the room next door and hushed voices, but decided against checking it out. And the next morning when she woke they were gone. There was hardly even a sign of Steven being there, and her bedroom window was left wide open. She was certain he’d be okay and Lapis would have him home safe so she saw no point in calling the others. She thought of Lapis waking up and Steven attempting to convince her to stay here with her, and Lapis quickly dismissing the offer.

 

She walked uneasily toward her stained blankets and sheets, and wondered exactly how much Lapis had healed since she looked at her yesterday. Obviously enough to walk, but perhaps her bruises were a yellow color. She kind of wished she would have looked at Lapis one last time because she’d always been rather pretty. Peridot bent over the bed, and grabbed her sheets, pillows, and blanket so she could finally wash them. It made her feel a sense of lavish satisfaction to finally get to rinse them off.

 

Today the sun was finally out, and she was excited too. She could finally start deciding what to do with the large garden that connected to one side of the house and one side of the shed.


	2. Chapter 2

They were home at an ungodly hour in the middle of the night. It had taken them three days to return, and Peridot was relieved. Peridot didn’t mind it though; she wasn’t going to sleep until he got home. She was sitting limply in her kitchen at the dinner table, eating some cream corn fresh from the can; which is actually really good when you’re starving, and your ribs are visible in everything you wear. She heard the screen door open and loud giggles as they waltzed into the house.  
“I’m sorry we didn’t find anywhere,” Steven said sympathetically.

 

Which was brushed away by Lapis’ soft and melodic voice, “It’s okay Steven. It was sweet for you to try.” Peridot heard a few more giggles, and realized they probably had no idea she was even in the kitchen eavesdropping. So she reached out for the chair across from hers and banged it against the floor a few times. The silence in the living room confused her a bit. But then she heard shushed voices, and a curly haired boy walked around the corner.

 

“See its okay,” he said waving her over. Peridot stood up straight and avoided looking up from her corn. But in her peripheral vision she could see a mess of blue hair and a tall slender figure peak around the corner. 

 

“You!?” she heard Lapis say as she jumped from behind the corner. Peridot finally glanced up at Lapis to take in her features. It had only been a few days since she saw her last, but for Lapis it had been years since she last saw Peridot, and it was satisfying to see Lapis shocked at Peridot’s new form. Since she had been living out by herself she had spent much more time outside which caused her skin to tan an even darker color of brown, and she had lost several pounds in fat and gained a few in muscle. But she still had a flat chest and long skinny legs just as she did in high school.

 

Lapis on the other hand looked well fed, and healthy besides the dark lines under her eyes and the scratches and bruises still healing on her arms. And her time spent swimming and volunteering as a life guard still showed on her curvaceous, yet toned body. Peridot was a bit jealous to see she had been eating normally.

 

“What are you doing here?” she said shocked and angry.  
Peridot licked her lips and swallowed the last amount of food in her mouth, “This is my house.” Which seemed to enrage the blue haired girl, “No its not! It’s mine!” she said with a pout in her voice like a small child would usually have when they didn’t get their way, and Peridot’s jaw dropped.

 

Peridot was not expecting Lapis to think that the house was hers, and she certainly wasn’t expecting Lapis to still hold a grudge for all these years. She had no right to be angry still. She had changed, and things were different. But Lapis was quick to deny that? Why?  
“Right Steven?” she asked looking to Steven with worry. Instead of denying it he merely shrugged and groaned embarrassedly. Which honestly made Peridot angry though she’d never admit it. Lapis huffed and wrapped herself in a hug- like embrace, and stormed out of the room, and she heard the screen door slam shut.  
“I’m sorry,” he said looking to Peridot, “I thought you two living together would be okay. I forgot that the last time you saw each other…wasn’t so okay.”

 

 

Peridot was a bit steamed up by this. Lapis had no right to be angry with her. She got drunk and sick that night too. She supposed maybe Lapis was angry because of what she didn’t do.

 

“That was a long time ago,” Peridot said, “Its not like that anymore. I’m different now.”

 

“I know,” he said happily.

 

That wasn’t good enough for Peridot. Lapis needed to know that Peridot had changed. She needed to accept it.

 

“She’s the one who needs to know, “she said through grit teeth, “I want her to understand.”

 

“Awe Peridot that’s sweet,” although it was not. Peridot was willing to show Lapis she had changed. But it wasn’t for Lapis.

 

“Maybe we should help her see it?” he offered. Peridot stood and walked to her counter to throw out the can, “How would I do that?” she asked trying to make it sound like she wanted to make it work somehow.  
“Maybe. We show her that you’re nice and better now,” he said, “I forgave you.”

 

Peridot scoffed, “You’d forgive anyone, Steven.” He sighed and crossed his arms leaving the two to think about their options.

 

Peridot could simply talk to her about how in High School all she cared about was her grades and her parents. Which honestly now that she said it in her mind didn’t sound like she was bad at all, and maybe Lapis would understand. She contemplated her options on what to say to her. She could simply buy her some flowers and write her an apology card. Yeah!  
“Got it,” she said snapping her fingers.

 

….

 

The flowers actually cost her a lot of money, and thinking of what to put inside the card was difficult. But eventually she figured it out. Lapis didn’t seem amused nor swayed by it though; she even glared at Peridot whilst she handed it to her. She threw the flowers to the ground outside and crushed them under her shoe. And tore the card up.

 

She was extremely angry at Peridot and was not one to shy away from her feelings. But then again she never had been. For the early hours of the morning Lapis basically pretended that Peridot was not even there, and hated the idea of them actually living under the same roof, but the longer Lapis stayed Peridot found, she had wanted her to.

 

Lapis had this untouchable aura about her and it honestly intrigued Peridot. She was quiet too, either because she didn’t want to or because she felt she wasn’t allowed to. Peridot remembered back when they were in high school, and Lapis was a giggling mess of a flirt. Whose only worry seemed to be whether or not she could hold her breathe for longer than everyone else, and painting.

 

Steven asked if she’d like to stay at least one more night, and leave in the morning and she agreed to do so. Peridot told her she could sleep in the bedroom again, but she didn’t respond. Not until the next morning, when Steven told her Lapis said thank you.

 

She even woke up early to make Lapis and Steven breakfast, mainly just some canned mandarin oranges, but judging by the way they scarfed it down they weren’t about to complain. And when Peridot didn’t eat because there wasn’t enough for the three of them, and opening a new can would cost her a meal later; Lapis seemed surprised and a bit impressed. Which Peridot tried to milk out as long as she could. Eventually Peridot asked Lapis if she’d like her to wash her dirty clothes, and Lapis seemed shocked to learn that her stuff was already in Peridots house. Which made her even more angry at Peridot for even thinking that she’d consider moving in. Steven calmed her down and told her it was simply to ensure she had no excuse to go back to Jaspers house; which in turn caused Lapis to blush a bit with embarrassment. And she even muttered an apology that was quickly accepted by Peridot.  
Peridot wasn’t as affected by it as Steven though, and found it was actually more stressful for him than it was for her. They sat inside the house and watched Lapis sit on the porch. Her body language had the same feel it had before: insecurity, but now it had a lingering sense of danger as well.

 

Steven crossed his arms, “Well what are we going to do now?” he asked.

 

Peridot hummed and gestured for him to stay put before walking out to the porch, “Lapis?” she said trying to feign a sense a confidence. Naturally she did not answer Peridot, but she at least acknowledged that she was present. Peridot puffed her chest up to try and seem bigger than she actually was, and looked forward again to Lapis, “Its getting dark huh?” Peridot asked.  
It was true that day had almost come to an end, and Peridot could hardly see the sun that was hidden behind a blanket of grey colored clouds. Lapis didn’t answer; she barely even moved. Peridot walked forward a little bit and sat beside her on the porch step. When she looked over to Lapis she had a blank look on her face and just kept staring out into the yard.

 

She studied Lapis’ features again. Typically Peridot didn’t pay much attention to the physical appearance of others. The way she walked and dressed stopped her from doing so. She was just lucky enough that her mother and father were actually attractive people. But Lapis’ parents had always been the beauty’s of Beach City. Lapis’ cheek bones were extremely prominent, and her short blue hair hung down in her face. But all Peridot could really focus on was the dark circles under her eyes, even after sleeping so long she must’ve still been exhausted. 

 

Peridot discovered she was fascinated with how clean Lapis looked in comparison to her. Her fingernails. Her ears. Her hair. She couldn’t help but feel disgusting all of a sudden. Her fingernails were filthy with dirt and grime from cleaning the house, and spending so much time outside. Her hair was greasy and her ears were certainly not clean. She felt very embarrassed by it, and wondered why it never really effected her before. Lapis’ clothes were even cleaner than what Peridot had on. Which was the same from three days ago: a long sleeve dark green t-shirt with her only pair of jeans, and her dirty converse. Lapis was wearing a black crop top and a light blue skirt with more color than Peridot had seen on clothes in a while. She looked down at Lapis’ long legs that were, despite the many bruises, freshly shaved and beautiful. Peridot was tempted to run her fingers along them, but shoved that thought to the back of her mind.

 

She would bathe more often but the well water took much longer to heat up on her stove than she would like, and she’d honestly rather just not do it. She must’ve been smelly. She frowned and turned to look at whatever it was Lapis was looking at. Maybe Lapis just needed time? But honestly Peridot was not very clean and if she was in Lapis’ shoes she’d try to distance herself too.

 

Steven opened the screen door and walked to the end of the porch standing behind Peridot. Lapis looked back at him, and smiled then looked straight forward again.  
Maybe instead of trying to show Lapis how great she could be she should try to show her the amazing qualities the house had to offer, and Peridot would merely be an add-on.

 

“Would you like to see the garden?” 

 

Lapis finally turned to face her, but quickly turned to Steven, “A garden?” Steven smiled and nodded.  
Steven walked with them to the other side of the house, and Peridot had to guide him and Lapis through the safest path in the extremely tall grass, “There are a lot of snake’s out here so be careful,” she didn’t respond, but allowed Peridot to slowly help her through the rocky path. She walked at a slow pace through the small garden entry that arched over a dirty stone path. Everything inside was dead and gray, but Peridot had big plans for it. 

 

“I know I haven’t grown anything yet, but I’m hoping to start next week once the yard is dry.”

 

Lapis liked the look and feel of the Garden though it seemed. Her lips quirked up a bit, but it quickly turned into a look of regret. Peridot continued to talk about how she wanted to grow some morning glories and hang them from the entry. She talked about growing some vegetables, and her stomach growled during which caused Lapis to look at her with worry, drag her blue eyes up and down Peridots figure, but still say nothing. She talked about selling the vegetables and buying herself a hammock to hang out on the tree in the yard. Which led her to talk about her parents business in Beach City where they fed themselves and made money through gardening. And she talked about how they didn’t have to spend money on food and could buy the things they wanted. Then she realized how much she had actually been talking about food, but Lapis didn’t seem to care actually, Lapis didn’t say a word she merely absorbed them like a therapist would, and Peridot was utterly entranced by that characteristic about her.

 

Peridot led her to the center of the garden where an old fountain stood with muddy water in it. A few dead leaves had found their way into it, and Lapis picked one out of it. Peridot watched her study the leaf like it was the most interesting thing she had seen in her life. Suddenly a pained look took over Lapis’ pretty features, and she dropped the leaf before strolling away from the fountain, but still further into the dead garden. Peridot normally would’ve been too freaked out to follow her but she did. Steven ran up beside her and held her hand for a long while.

 

Peridot didn’t speak to her because it suddenly occurred to her that she didn’t know her, and Lapis was a stranger that she used to know, kind of. But instead of questioning her and her feelings Peridot continued to chatter on about her idea to repaint the white picket fence around the garden, and cut down the extremely long grass. Then she complained about the lawn mower in the shed that was one of the old fashioned push mowers that didn’t use gasoline, and then began chattering about how everything in the house was several decades old. Then she went on to complain about fixing up the old car, and the sun burns and blisters she got from it.

 

When Peridot finally stopped talking the walk was actually quite peaceful. They were far away enough from the city that the sounds of car horns and people talking were non-existent. Peridot heard a few birds and what sounded like squirrels chittering in the tree next to the drive way. Suddenly Lapis seemed a bit angry at Peridot again, because she kept looking at Peridot with a scowl. Peridot would acknowledge it and give a look back in confusion, but Lapis would quickly turn away. Since the daylight was running low rather fast Peridot decided maybe they should go inside, and told Lapis she could stay another night if he wanted. Steven was happy when Lapis said yes, and he yelled, “Slumber Party!” before running off into the house.

 

“So, what do you think about this place?” Peridot asked looking over at Lapis’ face, and watched her long eyelashes flutter when she blinked.  
Lapis didn’t respond she just continued walking on the stone path, “Okay. What do I need to do?” Peridot finally said on the verge of losing her temper. Lapis turned to face her quickly with a scowl on her face, and opened her mouth to say something but Peridot interjected.  
“Look, I get it! You can’t go back to Jaspers house. You have no where to go! But you do!! You can stay here with me!! You don’t have to be confused! You don’t have to be alone!”

 

Lapis stared at Peridot in a way that chilled Peridot to the bone. It was like she was staring through her, and the blank lost look on her face scared Peridot quite a bit. Her body was stiff and tensed her jaw clenching and her hands shaking, “So tell me then. What do you want from me? What do I need to do? And whatever that is….I’ll do it.” A glimmer of satisfaction shined in Lapis’ eyes, but she didn’t smile or move at all. Peridot felt maybe she should give up, maybe she should ask Lapis to leave, maybe Peridot honestly hadn’t changed and Lapis saw that. It scared Peridot to think that all the time she had spent here at this old house had not changed her. That Steven’s friendliness and happiness had not rubbed off on her at all. Then all at once Lapis’ entire body moved to a strange fight-stance and her eyes finally seemed to focus on Peridot’s. It made Peridot jump a bit and freeze with fear; when she was scared that’s all she really did.   
“I want you! To leave!” she yelled at the top of her lungs, and if it wasn’t for the house out in the middle of no where it would’ve been loud enough to wake the neighbors. Her voice rang in Peridot’s ears, and everything around the house went silent. The birds, the wind, and even the loud squirrels stopped to eavesdrop. It scared Peridot a bit and Lapis wouldn’t move from the awkward stance she had taken; it looked like she was ready to pounce on Peridot. The thought of Peridot leaving the small home was preposterous to her. But if that would prove to Lapis that the was different and she had changed then so be it. She heard the screen door open, and saw the boy with curly hair emerge from the house.

 

“Okay,” she finally said, and Lapis moved to her normal aloof stance that made her seem untouchable. Peridot saw Steven walk up from behind Lapis and hide behind her leg. It took her a moment to actually move; mainly because Lapis’ outburst had shocked her so bad. But when she did she saw Lapis quickly look away and to the door of the house. Maybe this was for the best. Sure her stuff was still in the house, but she’d be fine without it. She turned down the length of the driveway and could here what sounded like voices coming from behind her. She decided against turning around though. Lapis would not appreciate that.

 

“Wait!” Steven yelled, and Peridot turned quickly hoping that somehow Steven had convinced Lapis to let her stay. Lapis walked to Peridot with determination in her eyes, but was silent for a long time. Peridot allowed her to be for as long as she needed, and watched Lapis’ hands clench by her sides. She had trouble looking Peridot in the eye, and looked at her bare feet. And then Peridot began looking at her feet wondering where her shoes were and how long she had gone without them. shocked she hadn’t really noticed before, and told herself she’d tell Lapis that in the back porch there was a pair of old boots that Peridot wore when she was working on the old car.

 

“Uhm,” she mumbled and Peridot could see she was having trouble talking at all. Peridot let her eyes drift up to Lapis’, “You don’t have to leave,” Lapis still hadn’t looked up to Peridot’s eyes and seemed perfectly content at staring at Peridot’s caved in stomach. Peridot looked at her expectantly, hoping for some kind of apology but Lapis offered nothing. After a long moment of silence Peridot noticed how red Lapis’ cheeks were, either from embarrassment or anger she couldn’t tell. Peridot watched Lapis turn on her heel and walk away angrily.


	3. Chapter 3

Peridot had figured that perhaps Steven had somehow talked Lapis into staying there with her. How he did it she didn’t know and wasn’t about to ask. Sleeping on the couch again was a bother for Peridot; not that she slept much at all. Maybe a few hours of pleasant sleep and then she wake and think of her father. She wished he was still around, and she would wonder what he’d say to her about living in this old house. But he would’ve loved to live out here if somehow he talked her mother into it.

 

She’d lift herself up out of bed, and contemplate whether or not she should go get some water for a bath, and then she remembered she only had one pot. She’d count through the last of the money she had from the wealthy guy who bought the car, and sometimes she’d even sit in the spare bedroom, and watch the sunrise when she could. She’d use the old oil lamp and sit it out on the kitchen table, and write a list of flowers she’d plant in the garden, until eventually the sun came up.  
It was about 8:00 in the morning, and she had already done a big portion of the things she wanted to do. She thought maybe she could ride that old bicycle into town and buy Steven and Lapis some donuts and then help herself to some canned peaches, but decided against it when she saw Greg’s van pull up in the driveway. Steven’s guardians were back already and she felt a bit nervous about him leaving. Amethyst wad the first to jump out of the car, “Yo P-dot! You figured out what you’re doing with the freak show?” 

 

 

Peridot frowned and worried about Lapis sleeping in her room listening to everything because the walls were not thick, “She’s staying here.” The three of them winced and approached her on the porch, “You okay with that?” Amethyst asked. Peridot didn’t answer for a long while, but of course she was okay with it. The only things Peridot really wasn’t okay with was having to sleep on the couch every night, but she’d never say that aloud.   
“Yes. I’m fine with it.” 

 

 

She quickly scooted herself out of that conversation and asked them if they would like to come inside. But they declined and asked her to wake Steven, and said they really needed to go. They apologized a few times and although Peridot was a bit disappointed she would never let them know that. 

 

 

She walked back inside and stood still in the living room for long moment wondering exactly what she’d do once Steven was gone, and she was left alone with Lapis. 

 

Hopefully, Lapis would sleep in for a while, and Peridot could ride her bike into town, and try to find a working newspaper machine for some free coupons. She slowly walked towards the door to her bedroom, and found Steven was already awake and was cuddled up on the bed next to Lapis and they were having some sort of serious conversation.

 

 

“Steven. The others are here to take you home,” she said matter-of-factly and tried not to pay attention to Lapis sitting awake, but still not looking at her. He nodded and hugged Lapis tightly saying his goodbyes, and Peridot did the same. Once he left the room Peridot looked over to Lapis expectantly, but Lapis still had nothing to say. She awkwardly shuffled from the room and went to say her goodbyes to Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl, and they each told Steven that he smelled really bad and needed to shower when they got back home. Which only reminded Peridot of her hideous, homeless appearance.

 

She looked out to the yard, and decided today was the day she was going to cut the grass. But first she needed to get into the proper attire. Maybe she could convince Lapis to come sit on the porch outside and watch. When she got back inside Lapis was standing beside her bedroom door with messy hair, and tired eyes. The two stood staring at each other awkwardly until Peridot spoke up, “I was going to mow the lawn. I thought maybe you’d like to-“ Lapis shook her head Vigorously and stretched her arms above her head.

 

 

Peridot slouched a bit, but wasn’t willing to give up just yet, “Are you hungry?” 

 

….

 

Lapis was, in fact, very hungry and seemed eager for Peridot to leave to go get some breakfast. And Peridot was too, she loved riding that old bike into town. Peridot was quick to take up the offer to be left alone for a bit, and gave Peridot and incredulous look when she learned she wasn’t going to bathe first. Peridot hadn’t really thought about that, but could care less what a couple of employees at a donut shop had to say about her.

 

 

She rode up the rocky hill that led up to beach city, and remembered back to the first time she taught herself to ride it. It was in the first weeks of moving into the old house, and she was still discovering things within it. The day that her idea of a garden popped into her mind she went out to the shed to find a lawn mower. Although she did find the push mower the thing that intrigued her the most was the rusted bike that sat up on a shelf. It was pretty difficult to get it down, but she did eventually.   
She cleaned it up, and Greg helped buy her some new parts to it that she might have needed. He even offered to just buy her a brand new bike, but she declined it. Something deep within her psyche preferred to fix things herself. After a few minutes of trying she got it down. It reminded her of her father; he would’ve taught her but in Beach City everyone walked everywhere and there’d be no point.

 

 

When she got the big donut she noticed how sweaty she was from the ride which only seemed to increase her insecurity about her hygiene. A tall boy and a short kind of chubby girl greeted her on her way in. The boy seemed disgusted and looked like he was about to vomit when she approached the counter. 

 

“What’s the cheapest thing you guys have?” Peridot asked fishing around her jean pockets to try and find some change.

 

The girl looked at her with such a pitied face. It made Peridot angry with her for not just answering her question like she’s a normal customer. The boy arched his chair as far away from Peridot as he could, and was having trouble not speaking up. Peridot asked again, and this time she answered with a, “Peridot?”  
Peridot’s stomach dropped the faces suddenly became very familiar. This was just great they know who she is. Peridot crossed her arms, and glanced around the small store. She didn’t remember this girl who was she?  
“It’s Sadie Miller. From High school.”

 

 

Peridot suddenly understood why this girl looked at that way, “Oh hey,” she said scratching the back of her neck; which was incredibly greasy. She felt her insecurity sky rocket. Here was Sadie a working woman clean, healthy, and by the looks of it well fed. Sadie grabbed about ten donuts and shoved them inside of a bag and dropped some pocket change on the counter, “Its on me.”

 

 

Peridot knew this was an act of kindness and was upset a bit upset for being treated like a charity case, but was not about to complain, “Wow, thanks.” She new later on she’d have to pay Sadie back for this, and she hated being in debt to people. 

 

 

Sadie smiled a genuine, toothy grin that made Peridot feel a bit inadequate. She grabbed the bag of donuts and looked forward to seeing Lapis again; for some reason she made her feel better. And she’d hardly even spoken. Sadie waved her off, and Peridot heard bickering when she closed the door behind her.  
The ride home was much more nerve wracking for Peridot than the ride there. She had other things in mind. What is it that she looks like exactly? She knew she was dirty, and she must’ve smelled too. Her skin was burnt and dark, and she had lost a good amount of weight when she moved out of her parents house. She knew her arms and chest were thicker in muscle than they had ever been which couldn’t have been much because Peridot had a stick-like figure. But no one had reacted the way that Sadie and the boy had. Not even Lapis, and you’d think she’d be quick to judge her. 

 

 

When she got back home she saw Lapis sitting peacefully on the porch staring out at the yard just as she was yesterday. It was still early in the afternoon which meant Peridot could start her yard work, finally. Lapis moved a bit to make room for her, and she fished around inside the bag for a couple of donuts. She hadn’t really paid attention to what Sadie had thrown in there she was so focused on her appearance.

 

 

“So guess what,” Peridot said handing a donut to Lapis.  
Lapis sighed a long annoyed sigh and breathed out, “what,” with little emotion.

 

 

“I saw Sadie Miller today. She works at the donut shop.”  
Lapis hummed in answer. She was similar to Garnet in some ways. Distant, Mysterious, and a woman of few words. She wasn’t like this in high school. It must’ve been Jaspers doing.

 

 

“How was she?” she said uninterested.  
“Well she gave me some free donuts.” 

 

Lapis turned suddenly with an angered look on her face, “Did you ask her?” Peridot took a bite from a donut and felt sick instantly from the sweetness, “No. Of course not.” Lapis scoffed and shook her head, “Who does she think she is!? Just because she has a job she thinks she should pity everyone who looks like their having a hard time getting by!!” she yelled and her body shook, “You should’ve told her you didn’t need her money.”

 

 

Peridot sat quietly letting the weight of Lapis’ words sink in. Peridot understood where she was coming from mainly because she was kind of upset when it first happened, but it was free food. Why would she complain? She turned to Lapis, “it was kind of embarrassing.”

 

 

“Of course it was!” Lapis said throwing her uneaten donut back into the bag sitting between them, “That’s what people like her do! They make it like your helpless and give and give. And then later on they want to know what they can take.”

 

 

“Sadie does this?” Peridot asked looking back at Lapis’ face. Lapis flushed a deep shade of red and looked offended in some way, but never answered Peridot. She just stood and walked back inside the house. Lapis was talking about Sadie at one point, but Peridot was certain her outburst had something to do with Jasper.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case people are confused. A few chapters ago Peridot reflects on the time when she was 'friends' with Lapis. She mentions getting really drunk, and watches Jasper beat on Lapis. The reason Lapis is upset is because she didn't try to intervene. But Peridot wasn't in the right physical or mental state to actually help her. That exact party was around the time she stopped hanging out around them. Mainly because Jasper just kept shoveling alcohol into her mouth.

Peridot left her alone after that, and went into the shed to get the push mower. She started at the end of the driveway and began working her way up from there. Before she knew it she ran into a large rock that looked like a decorative rock wedged itself beneath the mower. She huffed annoyed and sat the mower to the side, and bent down to pick it up. It was heavier than she thought it would be but with some momentum she moved it away. A snake jumped from under it and founds its way to her arm. It burn a bit because of the sunburn, and the initial surprise didn’t help much.

 

 

She fell backwards onto the still kind of muddy grass, and cried out for help. The sound of the screen door opening and shutting made her jump, and a mess of blue sat above her. Lapis had a scared look on her face, and she began trying to pull Peridot up. 

 

 

“What happened!?!” she yelled scared.

 

Peridot threw her head back, and continued to scream in pain. Lapis grabbed her head and forced her to look at her, “Peridot!” she said. She threw her arm back and brought if down quickly like she was trying to slap Peridots face, but Peridot caught her arm.

 

 

“What are you doing?” Peridot said in an offended tone.

 

“You weren’t answering,” Lapis responded deadpan.

 

“a snake bit me,” she said clutching her arm where it bit her. Lapis grabbed her hand and shoved it away, “Let me see.”

 

She pulled up Peridot’s sleeve and snorted, “It hardly bit you.”

 

Peridot felt her face burning hot, “Well maybe it hurts because it was poisonous!!” Lapis snorted again, “What color was it?”

 

Peridot looked at her seriously, “Black.” Lapis began laughing extremely hard, and she was struggling to control her snorts, “What’s so funny!?!” Peridot yelled.  
“It’s a garden snake you idiot!” Lapis yelled shoving Peridot back to the muddy grass.

 

“It still hurt,” Peridot said embarrassed. Lapis giggled again and lifted the rock out of the way. Peridot sat up, and complained about how she was wet and muddy and now she has a snake bite!! While lapis continued laughing happily.

 

“Look. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll sit on the porch, and watch.”

 

And so she did. Until Peridot cut down the rest of the grass. There were still some rocks but Peridot decided to mow around them. Which was even more difficult than mowing around the tree, and then Peridot decided that after she got the hammock she’d buy a lawn mower you can sit on. She shared her idea with Lapis who had a strange look on her face while she was watching Peridot.

 

When it got dark Lapis made some sort of broth from the can, and served it to Peridot happily. Peridot couldn’t help but be happy to have someone there.

 

They continued to eat in peaceful silence until Lapis asked where the shower was. Peridot awkwardly tried to explain that there was no shower, but that there was a tub instead. Lapis was determined to bathe though and asked Peridot to teach her how to use it. But first Peridot told Lapis that she didn’t want her going outside without shoes on in case there are any more snakes.   
Which led Peridot to show Lapis a bit of the back porch, and Lapis was excited to learn that they did have a fridge, and washer and dryer. Peridot pulled some ‘hideous’, as Lapis called them, boots. But Peridot said that if Lapis wanted to bathe she had to wear them. Peridot grabbed another bucket and told Lapis that there was only one pot so it was going to be a coldish warm, but Lapis said she just wanted a quick soak.  
It took them a while, but eventually they figured out how to keep one warm while warming another. Lapis would sit it near the heater that the house had which made Peridot sweat something fierce. They dumped the buckets into the tub, and Lapis shooed Peridot away so she could clean herself up.

 

She was out in less than 5 minutes and Peridot questioned her reasoning.

 

“You need to take one too,” Lapis said. Which made Peridot flush with color before walking through the spare bedroom into the bathroom.

 

The water felt nice against her skin; except for the sunburns on her face and neck, but she decided to ignore it. She picked up a small cup and began pouring the water onto her hair, and was disgusted by the slimy feeling that trickled down her face and neck. She scrubbed the shampoo into her hair and felt unbearably satisfied. She pulled out the sponge that she hardly used and scrubbed herself. Her finger nails, ears, and feet. The grimy look of the bath water was sickening now that she saw it. But when she stood from the tub she felt incredibly new. She wrapped herself in a towel, and walked into the living room where Lapis was sitting. Lapis looked up at her but quickly looked back down at her doodles. Peridot walked into her room and threw on a jumpsuit. Lapis would surely laugh at her for it, but she decided she’d ignore her.

 

 

Lapis seemed a bit agitated when Peridot first walked into the room. Apparently the tv had been difficult and she had tried to fix it only to find that a rat had chewed the cord. Great no channel 3 news. Lapis apologized a few times, and then left to go to bed. Peridot wished again that she had her own bed, but wouldn’t tell Lapis that. If Lapis was happy…than Peridot was too. 

 

 

Peridot surprisingly got some good nights rest although she discovered she didn’t like the screen door anymore. It was little protection to anything from the outside world, and she jumped at every sound that came from the front porch. The bath from the night before had somehow relaxed her to the point of her being able to sleep soundly. She also wanted to get a new fan; it was getting extremely hot in the house.

 

 

Sitting at the kitchen table, was Lapis eyeing a magazine that was probably years older than her. The blue haired girl peeked at Peridot from behind her magazine, but still sat quietly.

 

 

“How did you sleep?” Peridot asked standing from the couch. Lapis arched a brow at her, but didn’t say anything still. Peridot wanted to ask why Lapis was always so quiet, but she knew how angry she might get if she did so instead she walked to the table. She was only wearing some boxers and a long sleeved white t-shirt, and Lapis appeared to be agitated by that.

 

 

“Do you want to…maybe head into town?” she said bouncing on her toes; another shrug from the blue haired girl. Peridot grit her teeth but decided against saying anything too risky, “We could pick up some stuff for the garden…maybe, grab something to eat.”  
“Do you have enough money for that?” The aloof girl said.

 

 

“I’ve been saving up for it.”

 

Lapis glanced over at the broken tv, and then into her lap, “Fine.”

 

….

 

The two girls got dressed and headed off to the store. They had no car, and Peridot thought it’d be rude to ride a bike while Lapis walked so they went by foot. Talking Lapis into wearing the dirty old boots was pretty difficult, but Peridot loved a challenge. She also noted that Lapis had an unlimited amount of skirts and crop tops just as she had an unlimited amount of overalls and jumpsuits. The walk was long and hot, but Peridot enjoyed it non-the-less. Lapis hugged herself tightly as she walked, and turned around to look back in a paranoid way constantly. 

 

 

Lapis grabbed her hair and ran her slender fingers through it, “The blue is almost gone,” Peridot nodded at her. It was strange, the way Lapis talked, she would say something like she wanted to start a conversation, but when Peridot began talking she went quiet. The blue and brown haired girl would’ve looked good no matter what the color was. 

 

 

When they arrived at the store they made a bee-line to the gardening department. Peridot knew if they went anywhere else they’d spend the last of her money unwisely. She grabbed bags and bags of 50 cent seeds for veggies like lettuce, tomatoes, and carrots. She counted out her money, and went to grab some morning glories. If she tried she get the garden cleaned up and start her year long dream by tomorrow morning.  
She looked around at the flowers and pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper from her pocket. She had written the names of all the flowers she wanted, and could grow where they lived. Irises, anemones, daffodils, larkspurs, hydrangeas and sun flowers. She felt fulfilled and giddy when she piled all of them in the cart. When she was done she realized she had lost Lapis somewhere along the way. So she started pushing the cart down the aisle hoping to see her standing somewhere in between.

 

 

She found her in an aisle that Peridot didn’t bother to go down. Mainly because the types of flowers living there were ones that were quite difficult to tend to, and you had to have a certain level of expertise. Of course, when she first looked at them her first thought was that her father could grow them, and already had. Lapis was fascinated by a certain flower that Peridot had never really paid attention to. It was called the forget-me-not which Peridot found ironic that Lapis had seemed so content with it.

 

 

“Do you want to get it?”

 

Lapis stroked a few of its petals and turned her head away, “You don’t remember. Do you?”

 

Peridot gulped. Lapis’ entire attitude had changed to the one she had in the driveway when she told Peridot to leave. She was careful with her response, “Remember…the flower?” Lapis sighed and dropped her hand to her side. She started off like she was going to walk away, but Peridot stopped her by lightly grabbing her shoulder.  
Lapis flinched and turned around to face her with a fearful look on her face. The blonde let her hand drop to her side, and thought maybe touching her wasn’t the best idea; given Lapis’ past abuse.

 

 

Lapis clenched her fists, “Forget-me-nots, the flower your father gave me.”

 

 

Searching her mind for some information on the topic: Peridot looked at the flower. She reached for it, and sat some in the basket, ignoring the incredulous look from Lapis. Peridot did not remember such a thing, but she knew that her father and Lapis’ mother had history. And since there was only about 25 people that lived in Beach City, it wasn’t much of a shock for her.

 

 

.....

 

Her father had mentioned something about it once when she was still in school. She was probably about 11 years old at the time. It was years before she started hanging out with her and her large girlfriend. She was concentrating on absorbing the information her dad was giving her on the water lilies, until he spoke breaking the silence, “Do you know a girl blue eyes? Maybe brown hair?”

 

 

No one really fit the description In Peridot’s mind, “Lazuli? I think she has brown hair.”

 

Peridot’s father rubbed his elbow with his gloved hand, “Does she live there?” he asked pointing across the street.

 

“Yeah,” she said scooping up some dirt, “Why? Do you know her?”

 

Her father shook his head and chuckled a bit, “I was going to marry her mother,” the news shocked her quite a bit, and she questioned the amount of real love her parents marriage had. Peridot sat up and squinted across the street to the Lazuli residence. Peridot had never really paid attention to Lapis in class all she knew was that Lapis rather enjoyed the seat next to the window.

 

“You were?”

 

“Yes,” he murmured grinning towards the ground.  
“Why didn’t you?” 

 

“She didn’t want me,” he concluded patting the soil.  
She leaned over to her dad, “Why wouldn’t she want you?” she said in a confused voice. She truly didn’t understand why anyone would ever possibly not want someone as great as her father. He laughed and wiped some dirt on her nose, “She fell in love with a fisherman.”

 

 

Peridot thought back on the last time she had seen Lapis’ father. He was a tall, dark man with curly brown hair, and sharp blue eyes. He was the man that provided many of the restaurants with fish. In comparison, Peridot’s father was less muscular, and he had dirty messy blonde locks that just weren’t tamable. 

 

“We were going to have a little girl,” he said and looked across the street to the house again, “She wanted to run away with me, but I wanted to stay here.”

 

 

Peridot grinned from ear to ear, “Well duh! Richest soil in Delmarva!” he laughed at her, “That’s right!”

 

She slouched against him, “And then?”

 

“Then she met the fisherman. They got married.”

 

“Well…you still have a little girl.” 

 

He ruffled her hair and showed her the flower, “She wanted to name her Lily.”

 

…

 

Of course the dream didn’t really work out for Lapis’ mother because her father wanted to name her something different.

 

“He gave you some flowers?” Peridot questioned, pushing the cart to the check-out.

 

“Yes,” she whispered from behind her. When they walked from the store Peridot tried to have Lapis carry some bags, but she wouldn’t. So they both decided to take the cart, and return it later. Walking down the boardwalk people stopped and stared at her, but they didn’t pay attention to it.

 

 

Peridot still had questions for Lapis and they increased every time she looked at the flowers. They picked up some food and went down to sit at the end of the dock.

 

“So the forget-me not.” Peridot said.

 

“Yes.”

 

“There a beautiful color.”

 

Lapis hummed and eyed some boats at the other end of the dock, “Lapis?” she turned and looked at Peridot who was eating her fries, “Please tell me about the forget-me-nots,” she whispered quietly.

 

Lapis sighed, “It was just a couple of months ago. When I was still with-“ she blinked and turned away.

 

Peridot eyed Lapis’ legs, and questioned her fathers motives behind sending Lapis the flowers. She swallowed and placed a reaffirming hand on Lapis’ back and rubbed a bit, “My dad had died in a storm out at sea years ago-“ it was true Peridot remembered the entire town was grieving from such a loss. People said that he dove down into the bottom of the ship to save another crew- member, “and the anniversary had come up for it.”  
Peridot nodded and rubbed a bit more firmly on Lapis’ back like she was trying to force the rest of the story out of her, “He was sending me some flowers. He does every year. The forget-me-nots, and he’d send a letter with a story on it about my dad.”

 

Peridot stopped rubbing, “He knew your dad?”

 

Lapis nodded, “They were friends in school, I think.”  
Peridot took a drink of her soda, “He was friends with your mother too.”

 

Lapis arched a brow, “He was?”

 

Peridot felt maybe she shouldn’t tell Lapis this, but she had nothing to lose anymore, “He told me that he was going to marry your mother.” Lapis’ eyes widened, “Really?”

 

Peridot felt pride at seeing Lapis so emotionally open, and wondered why exactly she had allowed her to do that. It felt strange talking to Lapis like this. They had years of information about each other that they hadn’t ever shared, and now they have time finally. It was strange because the two were still very much strangers, but they knew so much about each other they could have been called friends.

 

 

“He said he was going to run off, and marry her.”  
Lapis looked at Peridot with shocked eyes, “My parents did. They ran off and eloped in ocean town.”  
Peridot squinted and grinned cheekily, “Ew…Ocean Town.” 

 

Lapis snorted and elbowed at Peridot, “anyway…”  
“He didn’t marry her…the end.”

 

Lapis’ lips quirked up a bit, and she looked back out to the ocean, “He used to take me out here, and push me over the boat. He’d leave me out there, and tell me to swim to shore.”

 

Peridot grinned imagining Lapis complaining and swimming to shore, “I’d do it, always, and he’d be waiting up here for me,” She looked down at the water, “Sometimes I’d just lay out there, and wish I’d float off somewhere else.”

 

Peridot was shocked at this, “You don’t like Beach City?”  
“No,” she said gripping the wood beneath her, “bad things happen here. No matter who you are or what you do. This city ruins you.”

 

Peridot frowned and Lapis pulled away from her. She was in the same place she was in the store and at the driveway, “Lets go back…please.”

 

 

Peridot stood and grabbed the cart following close behind her. The walk home was more relaxed than the last and she loved it. She loved that she was getting closer to this untouchable character. She loved that she opened up to her so much today. She hopped on the basket and started pushing it quickly down the road and rode down the hill on it. Lapis snorted and Peridot slowed down to let her catch up.

 

 

When they got back to the house Peridot unloaded everything from the cart onto the porch, and sat down beside all of them. Lapis went into the house for a few minutes, and emerged later with a envelope in her hand. She sat down beside Peridot, and handed it to Peridot.  
“What’s this?” Peridot said twiddling it between her fingers.

 

 

“Read it,” Lapis said staring at Peridots hands.  
She opened it slowly and recognized her fathers hand-writing.

 

 

Dear Lapis,  
I know around this time of year it must be hard for you. It is for me too. So I send you these flowers. They are quite difficult to grow out here, but I did for you. It helps me feel better something so fragile and beautiful needs me so. There is no possible way I could deny them, and it helps me from crawling down into my own darkness. I hope they help you too.  
Sincerely, Peter Olivine

 

 

Peridot stared at it a bit after she read it. Her father truly did not miss her, but he had the nerve to send a letter to Lapis. The daughter of the woman he loved. Oh how he must’ve resented her for not being Lily, the perfect child. But she knew that Lapis would be offended and hurt if she ever mentioned that, and there was no way she’d risk whatever she was forming with Lapis. 

 

 

She turned to Lapis and tried to seem happy for her, because Lapis had wrapped herself in her arms, and was smiling the biggest smile Peridot had ever seen her make.

 

“Isn’t that sweet?” she asked.

 

Peridot nodded and stuffed the letter back into the envelope. Lapis took it back gently, and toyed with the edges of it with her fingers. Peridot could feel Lapis staring at her and when she turned to face her Lapis was studying her features intently.

 

 

“What?” Peridot asked eyeing Lapis.

 

“Nothing,” she mumbled before looking back out to her favorite spot in the yard. Peridot decided maybe it was her turn. She took in Lapis’ features and decided that Lapis’ eye color was her new favorite. Her blue hair was streaked with spots of brown, and it reminded her of her mother. 

 

 

She wondered for a moment if maybe her mother missed her. She wondered if her mother wished she was there and she wondered if her mother felt as inadequate as she did. And then she felt anger at her father again for not writing her, and leaving her alone in this City. Maybe Lapis was right; Maybe this City does ruin people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please ask me questions about things my doods. 
> 
> Also, Lapis isn't really 'okay with Peridot' yet she just feels that Peridot deserves to know about her father.
> 
> PLEASE ASK ME SOME QUESTIONS. I WILL FIX YOUR CONFUSED BRAINS!!!


End file.
